April 11, 2002
Tough Choices

Yesterday, I found out that someone that I worked with for a couple of years ended up killing someone. The information in the news reports makes it hard to believe that this person killed someone else for so simple a reason as a disagreement over T-ball, and yet it happened. He didn't kill the guy in self defense, he bashed the guy in the back of the head with a baseball bat and the guy died the following day.

In the forum, we have been having a somewhat heated discussion about how supportive some people are being of this person because he is a friend of theirs. I'm rather perplexed by this. I've been told that I must never have had a strong friendship with someone because I'm capable of writing someone off if something like this happens.

Excuse me? Why should I want to remain friends with someone who killed someone else by picking up a bat and hitting them in the head from behind? Why should I be supportive of that person? What's to keep that person from doing the same thing to me at a later date?

I'm a redhead. Suffice it to say, I have a temper. I have gotten so mad at people before that I would just love to beat on them, and yet I don't. I choose to not cross that line. There is no excuse for anyone to loose their temper in that way, and if anyone that I knew of, be it friend or family, that did something to that extreme I would have nothing to do with them.

I am a very loyal person to people that I care about, but I also have a line with those people. When you cross that line, you are dangerous to me and I will not put myself in a position to cause harm to myself. It's basic survival instinct. My father was an alcoholic, and there were many times when I was growing up where I had no control over what happened to me because he drove when he was drunk. He could have gotten into an accident with me and mom in the car and we could have been seriously hurt or killed. Luckly, nothing did happen, but if it had, I never would have spoken to him again, and that is my dad.

Having a strong relationship with someone does not overcome the disgust and horror felt when that person intentionally strikes someone else with enough force to kill. Why feel supportive of that person because you know them when if it had been someone that you didn't know, you would have reacted otherwise? What makes one instance different from another one?

Posted by Shadoe at April 11, 2002 11:58 AM
Comments

I agree that each person has their own values, and their own lines, and know when each of them are crossed. What may be horrific to me, may not be to someone else. The issue I will address will be your last question posted.

Why should I feel supportive of a person that I know and react differently if it were someone that I didn't know?

How do you know how anyone would react in a given situation? The difference in each situation is just that...they are different situations. For someone who hates stereotypes as much as you do...I know you understand that. I hope you don't think i'm trying to flame you, i'm just trying to explain the other side of the coin.

Posted by: ChayDogg on April 11, 2002 01:38 PM

The same thing happens to me on-line a lot.
I bring a different perspective to most situations. When I make a comment challenging something said by a blog writer; the blog writer reacts with defensive rage and whines about the creep who challenged her/him. (Why talk to the world if you only want to hear yourself and the yes sir boys?)

Then - 29 of this person's groupies get on-line and say stuff such as; don't listen to that asshole-you are wonderful-oh poor you, how can you take this abuse and still function--the internet is filled with fuctards; etc., etc.,bla, bla, bla.

And get this - I am not flaming or being obnoxious although I am not always as tactful as I should be. I am saying something the writer has not considered and challenging their position.

It is an intellectual challenge which I expect to be responded to intellectually.

But no-blind loyalty and kiss ass devotion are solicited from the gang and the mob responds as manipulated. This is what is expected of you now in terms of friendship with the homicidal maniac.

But believe me no sane person expects you to give killers the benefit of the doubt or try to understand them. You need to get far away from them as possible, as tactfully as possible.
If you check further you will find he is/was abusing his wife, kid and animals as well. I know a lot about abusers. It is humorous to say it and I am laughing out loud but, just take my word for it, killing is an indicator. People do not, in one time incidents, beat people to death with baseball bats.

Thank your Gods, he killed someone else before he got angry with you.

Posted by: Virginia Rose on April 25, 2002 04:42 PM
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